The Power of Writing from your Heart!

One day when I was at school as an 8 year old child, I discovered through a classmate, that I was an adopted child. When I asked my Mum about this when I got home she was devastated. Over the following years if I ever tried to talk to my mum about this she became extremely upset so I grew up believing that this was something I must never talk to her about as it was far too upsetting for my Mum.

When I became a mum myself, and my second child had a serious medical emergency, I was asked for my medical history. I had been asked for that before for myself but always just told them I had no knowledge of it as I was adopted.

This time however, it was my baby’s life at stake. I felt so powerless, and useless for not being able to give any information at all.

Afterwards my husband urged me to try again to ask my Mum. I did ask but the only information I was given was that my birth name was Gloria Mary Doyle and my bio mother’s Aunt who was the Minister of Child Welfare when I was born and had arranged my adoption. We had no way of finding out my bio mothers identity as by this time her Aunt had died. In the meantime, Doctors had discovered what the cause of my baby’s illness was. She had contracted a rare form of viral meningitis. She experienced a full recovery over the next few weeks.

The desire to get hold of further information about my bio family was stronger than it had ever been before for both my husband and myself. However life got busy, everyone was well now, and keeping the peace seemed to be easier than rocking the boat any further and upsetting my adoptee Mum.

After the birth of my last child who had spent his first 10 days in intensive care, the Doctors had once again been asking me for my family medical history. This time I was in no doubt whatsoever. I had to find this out once and for all. The anxiety about upsetting my Mum was still very strong, but along with my husband, I was also very determined that we needed this information for the medical knowledge that we both felt we were entitled to have for our children.

I had been doing a journal writing workshop just prior to this baby’s premature birth. So I decided to journal my way through this challenge.

In doing this I actually ended up writing a letter to my mum. Having done that I felt much more at ease, and felt I would now be strong enough to ask her. I went to see her with the letter in my bag just in case I chickened out which was what eventually happened.

But just as I decided I would give her the letter, she suddenly said to me…”By the way! I have been thinking about how difficult it must be for you not knowing anything about your natural family. I’ve got something here for you.” With that she walked across the room and picked up a worn brown envelope. “These are your adoption papers”.

The letter I had written to my Mum was still in my handbag in its sealed envelope.

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. But I learned something powerful. I learned that when you write something with deep passion, unconditional love and powerful intention, and then let it go with gratitude…. Magic Can and Does Happen!

Universe is Always Listening !

Love yourself Enough to Trust your inner promptings to express yourself, ask your questions, whether it is to write, paint, dance, sing, run or express yourself in some other way.

The Angels of the Universe, the Magic of the Universe, the Creator of the Universe, is always listening. We have all been given the free will to make our own choices and they cannot intervene unless we Ask, or unless it has been agreed to before we came here.

So never doubt this and if you have something you need help with, try writing it down in a letter, through journaling, or painting, even dancing. Just express your request and trust that the universe will respond. Be sure to always include in your request the words

” Thank you for ………helping me with… this ….. or something better, for the highest and best for all concerned.”.

Namaste’ Glo

Change Your Focus And Thrive !

I have found that one of the biggest hurdles we need to get over in life is that of achieving self-discovery, self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, self-love. 

Without it, we are unable to be truly authentic, to truly know ourselves, our strengths, our weaknesses, and to love ourselves unconditionally regardless. 

If we are unable to love ourselves unconditionally, we will surely struggle to do the same for others and will miss out on experiencing one of the most amazing gifts of this human existence. 

We spend our lives growing up with the need to meet the expectations of others, to please, to keep others happy, to follow the rules that are imposed on us. In other words, we are trained to look outside of ourselves rather than to look within ourselves.

By looking ‘outside’ ourselves we find a someone to measure ourselves against. Some have attributes that we wish we had and who can leave us feeling ‘less than them’,  while others give us the opportunity to stroke our wounded ego as we find we can  judge those who leave us feeling ‘more than’ them.  This can help us to feel superior when others fall off the wagon or fail at something.
“I would never do this or do that. How could they?”

The news media thrives on feeding us information to keep us outwardly focused. Talk back shows where everyone has their opinion about someone else’s life choices.

One group supports the subject while another rubbishes it. Yet as long as we are looking outwardly at the events around us, observing other people’s choices, we don’t need to have a look at ourselves. At our own strengths and our own weaknesses.

At the end of the day, we are all here on this earth for a finite period to live a very brief life on earth before we leave.  From the moment we are born our body is destined to die.

We can spend our whole lifetime focusing on other peoples lives, choices, good and bad.

Or we can spend some time focusing on discovering who we really are, what our deepest strengths are, overcoming the fears and the beliefs that hold us back from achieving the dream that lies deep within our hearts.

Ego will always try to keep us outwardly focused!

Spirit takes us within, to unearth our true identity, our true purpose, where we can identify our true passion and reason for being alive on this earth at this time for this brief time.  

Ego raises the voice of overwhelming Fear. Fear of failure. It creates obstacles, oh but what if ? doubts, it get’s really sad, it gets scared.  It rages, it blames, it thrives on self-pity, poor me, and can eventually become very angry and destructive.

My own life journey has encompassed so many of these steps The highs and the lows. But that is Ok. That is the journey.  It takes nothing away from who I truly am.

Spirit offers us courage and whispers’ You are not alone, Let go, Trust, and Never Give up!’ 

  • Hope says  ‘There is always a rainbow after a storm, and spring will always follow the darkest coldest winter.’
  • Faith says ‘Yes You Can!  You can choose to create what your heart is longing for you to bring into your life.’  
  • Love says ‘I Am !  I Am in You and You are in Me and together we can be an almighty and powerful force for change.’ 

Namaste
Glo


That moment of profound peace when clarity finally reveals herself !

Over recent years I’ve had a nagging question about my true life purpose.

It happens to mums like myself,  as our children grow, become independent and start making their own choices and taking responsibility for their own lives.  The role of a mother changes quite profoundly and that was certainly the case for me.  Even though I had a career of sorts, and welcomed the resulting reduction of dishes, washing,  somehow losing the role of being the one responsible for my children’s needs, was a huge grief, a loss of meaning, of purpose.

To grow up and be a mother had been my dream for as long as I could remember.  I was an only child and longed for a sister to play with.  When I discovered I was also adopted, I was determined that one day I would get married and have my very own family, and I wanted at least 10 children, and to marry a farmer and live in the country.

I was married to my husband Dave at 17, we had our  first child a few months later having just turned 18, and over the next 17 years had 5 further children.  I didn’t marry a farmer or live in the country but I married my soul mate and together we achieved what I considered my life purpose.  To bring life into the world and to love and nurture our children till sometimes I thought my heart would completely burst with love. I was never happier than when I was carrying or nursing one of my children.  I used to wish that time would stop right there in those awe filled moments and stay like that forever. I joined playcentre and stayed there for 17 years.

To then have to let each of my children go, one at a time as they became independent and made their own life choices, was like a double edged sword, deep pride and satisfaction on one side and a sense of redundancy and  torture on the other.

After the first three had left to begin their independent lives,  my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away.  My younger three became my focus, along with my work which I now needed to be able pay the mortgage etc.   Then I formed a new relationship and over the next few years my younger children also moved away as they matured and stepped into their own independence.

I  was so very proud of each of my children .  But oh how I missed the little things.   The music they played,  the sounds of the voices when they came through the door after school with friends in tow, even when they would  create mess in our tiny kitchen which I would sometimes come home to.

I  had  formed a new relationship,  was working full time, and we connected when we were  able,  but life was so busy for everyone gradually the distance started to grow.  Then an unexpected accident meant I eventually needed to move house and this only  increased the distance between us.

Deep down in my heart, the ache to be back in the past continued to keep me stuck.  I loved my new space, my new work, but I still grieved for what was gone.

” What is there that is  really left for me to do now? ” became my question.

What can I do that brings  real meaning and a sense of purpose, of making a difference, of participating in creating something worthwhile? What am I supposed to do next ?

Today I met clarity !    Watch this space.